When we get married, the idea (or hope, or goal) is that we no longer feel alone. Regardless of the ups and downs that time may present, you have a partner, a confidant, a teammate every step of the way. Perhaps you may not always agree on an issue or a decision you have to make, but the concept that you are a team, first and foremost will help guide you through the challenge of your disagreement.
For example, some friends of mine were struggling with a variety of issues, including some parenting decisions. They found themselves constantly fighting, so they decided to go for therapy. One afternoon (several session in) the therapist stopped them mid-fight and said, “STOP!! Just stop! You’re on the same team here. . . the same side.” Just hearing those words sent ‘aha’ shock waves through them. They were able to re-convene their discussion from the perspective of, ‘at the end of the day, we both want what’s best for our child,’ thus we ARE on the same team. It was amazing how well they worked together to come up with possible solutions vs. fighting each other and making the other feel a need for defiance.
As entrepreneurs, at the office, typically, what you say . . . goes. But you didn’t get married to be the boss of your spouse. . . you are equal partners. Sometimes it is difficult to step back from your role as the boss and accept that you are equal partners in your home life.
It can be equally as challenging for a spouse who has become accustomed to deferring to the entrepreneur to find/ hold on to his/her own voice. We will continue this thread throughout other blog entries, but the foundation to all of this is the consistency of acknowledgement that you are on the same team.